I. Am. An. Absolute. DORK.

OKAY. So first, I feel like a total idiot for baring my soul to Spencer, it was cool because he got it, and I felt better later, it was a sort of heart to heart, soul baring conversation. It went on until almost midnight and afterwards I PASSED out. Like, passed the fuck out. It was crazy. I felt like a fool and a half, and almost said something I thought of this morning but, right as I thought about telling him... I said to myself, no, you will make a fool of yourself. Soooooo I didn't. And I'm not telling YOU either. Just because I am me, and I am cool like that.
   


     Er, no, I just don't feel like making a fool of myself on the internet. Because I honestly don't know how many people read this, and I really really like to y'know, not feel stupid.


   MOVING ON. AnnMarie you are being stupid. Bottom line. You are being stupid with this whole Michael business, she probably won't read this but, I just had to say it. It's funny, my blog is sort of like a diary, only, I write in my REAL diary more often. It's a blue spiral notebook. Not kidding you. My next one is quite cool and bound n stuff and the design is great, although when I got it I didn't know that there would be bible quotes at the bottom of each page. Catholic Bible quotes. Shit. Just shit. That's all I could think of to say. I am working on my LSD Adventure to describe this whole Mike and NIchelle and AnnMarie business and I hope it explains everything. I really do.

Hey Peoples Of Earth

Well, as is really obvious, I messed around with my blog again. I like it, because really, why can't everyone just speak english? Things would be a lot less confusing. Like, international talking type things. So we don't have things like George Bush when he went to Australia  and was all "yeah yeah peace out man" with the peace thing with your fingers. And he ended up really offending them. Well, I like the new name, because it's great! I like it. I think it looks nice how I've set my blog up. But, I have really good grades. No joke. I am amazed, and really proud of myself.  OKAY OKAY, I have one F in gym, and one D in English but just back off okay? On to books. I have been reading a great book. It's called Tweak: Growing up on Methamphetamines by Nic Sheff. And okay okay I know I know, it's a memoir about his life while he was in San Fran and L.A. and how he relapsed, got his shit together, then relapsed again. But, it is FANTASTIC. Not shitting you. I love it. It's great. His dad, David Sheff, wrote the book Beautiful Boy  and this book is the other side. I haven't read Beautiful Boy and I doubt I will but, whatever, I also have read Withering Tights by Louise Rennison. Who is one of my favorite authors. She lives in England and so on, and I read her series Confessions Of Georgia Nicolson. Which, most of the things in there really did happen to Louise and I thought that it was great and the books are really quite funny, in a teenaged angst kind of way. I recommend her books eight ways to Sunday. And I KNOW that there isn't eight ways to Sunday, but get off my back will you??? You're starting to seem like my Mutter and Vater. So HUSH. And shutup brain. Now. Have you ever had one of those times where your brain will NOT SHUT THE HELL UP??? I've been having those. I can't stop thinking about the 17th. Which, I know, is tomorrow. I can't stop thinking about it, because it's Spencer and I's three year anniversary. Really awesome right! I know!!!! I'm so excited I think I might explode! It's been driving me crazy thinking about it, and ever since about... Sometime last week I have been in a fabulously fantastic mood. All the time. Even in the mornings. And I am not known to be a happy camper in the mornings. Normally I'm a wake-me-up-and-I'll-fucking-kill-you camper in the mornings. Which, uh, isn't all that good really. Particularly because of waking up and going to school every morning. Which, let's see, I've only been doing for the past eleven years now. And, I'm still not used to waking up in the mornings, I'm a bit better at it now that I've been doing it for so long, but, in elementary school I was not very good at getting up. In the form of.... Well, I almost had to be dragged out of bed, and then I had to be up and ready to go at seven fifty in the morning, instead of six thirty like I have to now. Weird right? And, really the waking up at a certain time every day never really ends, because after highschool, there's college and going to work, and all that. But, hey, it's better than being broke and out of work right?

There is nothing quite like life.

There is nothing quite like being in the bathroom, dancing you ass off in front a mirror, totally lost in the music. Lost in every bit of the song. There's nothing quite like life. You have your ups and downs. The ups where you're having a great time, you're lost in the music, and then the downs where you're having a hard time. But, the thing is, is that everything gets better. It always does. It always will. The ups are awesome, you fall in love, you get your dream job, you finish high school or college, you get married, you have your first child. All those things. And there are the downs where maybe, your best friend gets addicted to drugs, or your aunt dies. Or any number of things. For your friend you can always cart them off to treatment, and you can grieve over your aunt, and then things will get better, humans may be essentially bad, but, they have the potential for good. (We're studying Lord of The Flies in English) Even people who have done terrible things, still have the potential for goodness. Like... Hitler. He did lots of horrible things(well, he had other people do them but he had the thought) but, he had a family. He had a daughter, who he must have loved very much, and cared about. See? It's all, er. . . Related. Or do I mean relative? I don't know, why are you asking me, when I don't even know what I'm going on about most of the time? But, alas, EVERYONE has good days and bad days. You're not the only one. You're not the only person who's afraid of falling in love because you've been hurt so many times before. You're not the only person who's worried about losing their job or their house or their family. It happens.

Oooohhh boyyy

Well. That was a laugh. The Vet Day assembly was funny Kay and Spencer kept on rockin' out to the "serious" songs about war and death and so on, it made me smile. And he kissed my nose. Just out f the blue. It was sweet really. Anyways, he is coming over after school and I am suuuper nervy about it  because dad's gonna be home and I don't want the third degree about kissing and all that crap. Not to mention tickling. And laughing. And goofing off to go outside and run around. Whew! Today has been fun :D

Whey hey! Hey ho!

Say hello to brand new Wise Woman of the Forest! I have become a wise wise person! I am helping my friend Beth vis a vis a shy boyfriend type of problem. Now, I have another blog! For ladies (and Josh) only! It is called The Working Woman's Little Black Book. A love/relationship help guide. See, I told you I have become Wise Woman of the Forest. People are starting to take me vair vair seriously. Which is er.... Actually kind of scary. Because generally when I give people advice I am just pulling stuff out of my butt and it makes absolutely no sense because I am talking bollocks. By the way, I have been reading a bunch of books by the British author Louise Rennison. SO, I have adopted lots of British words. Like bollocks. And bugger. And 'er'. Not to mention oo-er. And 'vair' which is just from French people who are trying to speak British type English and they are trying to say 'very'. See, I also didn't know that when British type people talk about 'biscuits' they are talking about cookies. Did you know that? I sure as hell didn't. We may be descendants from England but people in England need to learn how to speak properly.

Yes. Hurray for my life.

I had my phone for a week. Not even. And mom went and had dad take it away again. Just because I had posted up a status on facebook, and Spencer had been mad about it and called dad names and I said: "I know." I didn't call dad names. Not at all. Seriously? A WEEK. And now dad won't listen to me. Not at all. Really Mom? Really dad? Thanks for making it so I can't have have my phone even a week. Without you guys taking it away again. I DIDN'T CALL DAD NAMES. Yea, Spencer did, but I didn't. All I said was: "I know." That's it! That's all I said. And, for good measure I deleted the post. But, honestly, people, I had it for barely a week, and already it got taken away again, how do I keep managing to fuck up at EVERYTHING? Even my math grade which has gotten raised from an F to a D+ isn't good enough even though I missed the first two WEEKS of school. And have no leverage for anything. And missed the first chapter. And need to play catch up. Great, life got to be great for once, and now, it's back into the dumps. I got my phone back and managed to keep myself from losing my mind during that lovely nervy b I had last night after starting to remember things I would rather forget because I got to text Spencer until I fell asleep. Thanks Mom, for putting me in a really bad situation. I don't even know if I'll have another nervy b. I probably will. Knowing me, and knowing how much it haunts me, well, lucky me, I get to lose my mind.